FULLSCREEN is a series of videos to be viewed at the highest res your rig can handle.
I think we’ll start an offshoot of FULLSCREEN called Hip Motherf!@#ers, yeah? This week, we’ll delve into the colorful lifestyles of two of the many hip motherfuckers of the world.
A few days ago, I stumbled across William’s Crystal Corner. I had to watch half of the video before noticing William’s pants. It’s amazing what we don’t notice when something is presented as normal, because William is wearing a Prince outfit. Watching it again, I’m realizing that he actually changes clothes a few times. He probably had to leave the room for that.
William is also caressing differently colored crystals the whole video–but I noticed that right away.
William’s lifestyle is fascinating because his whole day depends on the energy he derives from crystals. What kind of crystals? I don’t know, they just look like clearish rocks to me. It would be much easier to get into this sweet trend if we could Google something more specific than just “crystals.”
William doesn’t agree with me. He believes deeply in the ambiguous umbrella term “crystals.” In this way, all crystals are included, and William can show us all the different kinds.
Sometimes William charges the crystals with good energy. Other times he clears them of bad energy by shaking them like a frustrated babysitter would shake a baby. His voice hints at violence as he loudly whispers “RELEASE” to the crystal. It was then I wondered what was really going on in William’s head.
Is it all a finely strung ritual to attract hip motherfucker sex? Is he a victim of ultimate placebo effect? Is he just fuckin’ silly? Maybe he wants an artistic seeming lifestyle, but he doesn’t know how to draw.
William makes himself vulnerable to name calling and jokes from anyone outside of his Brooklyn neighborhood of hip motherfuckers. But he’s balls deep devoted to his quirk and he has an air of faux skillfulness about him. This is essential to becoming a true hip motherfucker guru. He probably has more sex than you.
“Again, it’s only a tool. We have to remember that everything comes from our center–from us. It doesn’t matter how many crystals you have or which ones. Everything is found within yourself, and to glimpse that part of yourself is the true meaning of this exercise and this work.”
William Eadon of William’s Crystal Corner, Brooklyn, New York City
A Selby Film
A few days later I stumbled upon another hip motherfucker. His name is Bobby. Uh, that’s Retro Bobby, you asshole.
Retro Bobby is a Copenhager, which is a league of hip motherfuckers from Denmark’s capital city of Copenhagen. Bobby runs a dual business out of the Ruben & Bobby barber shop. As well as cutting hair, Bobby collects, trades and sells action figures and videogames from the 80s and early 90s. I was impressed with Bobby’s Gameboy collection.
Bobby combines his passions with hair and old shit and gets a lot of his stuff through bartering. People bring their dusty games and action figures to him and he gives those people haircuts in return. In the video, we’re privileged to the whole process.
“I have a competition. While you get a haircut, you can choose between Tetris or Rad Race. If you beat the high score, you get 20% off your haircut.”
Retro Bobby of Ruben & Bobby Hair Salon, Copenhagen, Denmark
A Copenhagers Film